One second. One minute. One hour. One day. One week. One month. One year……
Where does the time go? Have you ever stopped to think about what you have accomplished in that very moment? Not looking back nor forward, just in the present moment? It makes me think. I think a lot. I think a lot about the past and future. I am just beginning to realize the power and gratitude of being present in the moment.
I think about my life 10 years ago. Gee it’s been 10 years already. 10 years ago seems like a century ago in one aspect and like yesterday in another. 10 years ago….I was in my early twenties, living the dream (I didn’t think that at the time but I was) living close to home, in my first year of my diploma program, broke (what I thought was broke) and just wanted to break free of everyone and everything. I wanted to start over in my mind. I wanted a fresh start. A new beginning. I never lived in the moment. I wanted to finish school so I could move onto “bigger and better things” . Once school ended, I moved away from my family and friends I had known for my whole life to a new unfamiliar place. After moving a few times I finally found my “new home.” It was hard. I faced new challenges like missing my family, not seeing my loved ones as often as I did before and having to meet new people. How the heck do you do that? Where do you meet people when you work? Well for me, it was through work.
I found my “dream job” about a year after I graduated and once again life began to focus on the things I had always dreamed about. Oh ya and who could forget about loans? Ya so I focused on paying off school loans, car loans, saving for the future, future plans, future, future, future……I began thinking about meeting the “perfect guy”, getting married, having two kids (twin boys to be precious) owning a house, blah, blah, blah. My outlook on life was so innocent, naïve. Remember, I come from a place where everyone knows you and the color of underwear you are wearing. I wanted this all done by the time I was thirty (okay or at least started) Is that hard to ask for?
I thought I was living life in the moment but I was always looking ahead. Nearing 30, I began to panick. I did not have anything accomplished that I had hoped for. Ya, this part of my life I couldn’t plan. I really thought I was going to stay in my 20s forever. Ha, ha ya right hey? By this time I started feeling less naïve, less hopeful of the world overall Yikes. Sounds rather bitter.
Wait a minute. Did I hear that right? The farm girl who is determined, has goals, never gives up, looks at the good in everything, who is positive, and upbeat thinks less of the world? Ya you heard it!
Fast forward a few yearsand here I am in my 30s and still no different than where I was 10 years ago. I am not married (legally), have not had any of my own children (boyfriend as 2) or have I done any travelling like I have always wanted to do. However, I am blessed to have my dog, my home , and my family which may not have been the way I pictured it but here it is.
I have lived my life in fast forward for so long that I don’t think I know how to slow down and take each moment as they come. I have came to terms that I am a work-a-holic! I am not ready for another 10 years to fly by without having the things I wanted accomplished by my 30s not done by my 40s.
This year I decided that I was going to change this. (okay at least start) I am living each day by my intention to think the positive in everything I do. It may not be exactly where I thought I would be 10 years ago; but that is also a state of mind. It’s not a race. I wake up happy knowing it is a new day! I have no plan in mind I just know that happiness and living my dream is possible again. I do not even know where I am headed yet but it is okay and I can live with that.
Before you know it, this moment is gone and it will be merely a memory you hold with you. Live in the moment for we will never know if we have another tomorrow.